"Radical" is Right!

Hello to all my blog following friends. I am still alive, but at this point, just barely. I had a radical mastectomy at St. Luke's Hospital last Thursday, and now that I've had it, I understand why they call it "radical". They certainly take a lot of tissue that has always been part of your body, and it's a little hard to get used to the new view in the mirror. That, and the fact that the radical mastectomy is not the end of cancer treatment, is more than a little discouraging, but as has been the case throughout this life experience, this strange journey, there is always a lot to be grateful for.
Greg and I had to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. for the prep for this procedure. My sister-in-law, Val, was patiently waiting when we arrived 10 minutes late, and she was a great support and good resource of information throughout the day. After a little paperwork Greg, Val, and I were taken to the surgery waiting room. They got to stay, but I had to be prepped for surgery. I tried to convince them that Val was Margi Nettles, but it didn't work. So I got weighed, undressed, gowned, fitted in the tight stockings that prevent blood clots, had my blood drawn, had a IV started, talked with the anesthesiologist, and then lost all consciousness or recall for several hours, until a man with crazy, curly red hair was trying to rouse me from my deep sleep. According to Greg it took him an hour and a half before I was roused enough to be transferred to my hospital room. Greg and Val were still there, and then when Greg had to leave my brother Jared came and I had a very pleasant afternoon talking with Jared and Val about all kinds of subjects, mainly my kids and their kids, whom we seem to talk about a lot. I felt pretty darn good right out of surgery. I had one dose of morphine, but from there I lasted the whole day and didn't take anything else for pain until I was going to sleep that night, at which time I took one Norco tablet. There isn't a lot of physical pain associated with a mastectomy, but there is a lot of numbness and nerve damage done, and of course it's quite hard to see yourself when those bandages are removed and you realize how much of your body is no longer there. But I was able to recover from the surgery quickly. I had a clear head right away, and that whole day spent with Jared and Val, my mom and sister, Heather, and Greg and Rachel was a very pleasant day.
It's hard to get a good night's sleep at the hospital, of course, because the nurses are wide awake when they come to check your vitals, and they think you ought to be wide awake too, so at about 12:30 I was roused out of a sound sleep to find out my temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen saturation was normal, and then I was allowed to sleep again until about 5 a.m. when I had to get help unhooking from all the machines so I could go to the bathroom. That whole first day and into the morning of the next I had cuffs on my legs that would periodically tighten to keep the blood flow going in my legs. I was also on oxygen and my IV was still in place, so all that stuff had to be detached or be wheeled to the bathroom with me every time I had to go. That was probably the most unpleasant part of my hospital stay.
Early Friday morning my surgeon, Dr. Livingston, came and checked on me and took the ace bandages that were wrapped around my chest off. Surprisingly she said I could take a shower whenever I wanted and go home whenever I was ready. The surgery went well, or how she had anticipated it would go, and she just reminded me to make little use of my left arm until after I had seen her in two weeks. The final report on the tissue she removed won't be available for about a week. Of course the best would be if that tissue was completely cancer free, but Greg says it will also be good news if there is no new cancer growth since the original diagnosis. We're all hoping the pathology report brings the best possible news.
My sister Heather did me the favor of driving me home on Friday, and of taking me to get a mastectomy camisole that has little pockets in place for the 2 bags I came home with that catch the fluid that drains from the wounds in my chest and under my arm where the lymph nodes were removed. The drains stay in until the fluid slows down, so a couple of weeks at least. The mastectomy vest also comes with a breast form, but I need a little help making it match my remaining breast. Right now it's considerably larger. I'm sure with a little tweaking it will do its job.
I was lucky enough to make it home in time to see Hunter leaving the house for his game that night, and also fortunate enough to be at his game. Even though he ended up not playing much and his team lost in overtime, it felt great to have some normalcy restored right away, and the cool air felt refreshing after spending a day and a half in a hospital room.
Since then I've been able to get out and do a few things. I was able to attend Kate's piano recital on Saturday and go out to dinner with my sister Heidi and her daughter, Leah, and my two girls afterward. On Sunday night I was well enough to come downstairs to eat dinner with my family, and because I was already up I was able to greet some visitors who came by to check on me. Thank you to my visitors and to people bringing flowers and goodies. Thank you to my friend Sarah for the beautiful scarf that's just perfect for fall weather. Thank you to my water aerobics instructor, Tami, and to my whole water aerobics sisterhood for the huge bouquet and the cards of support. I love visitors!
Okay, now to list some of the things I have to be grateful for. I am grateful my sister Heidi spent the money and took the time to spend a week taking care of my family. The kids have made all their appointments, they've been well fed, Tadman's been cuddled and read to, and Kate's had the right things signed and returned to school. I'm grateful for Dee and Ron who made sure Tadman was cared for and entertained the entire time I was at the hospital, and then picked him up on Saturday to take him apple picking. He's been very happy, content, and well taken care of between the three of them. I am grateful that the view out my window was so spectacular and beautiful while I was in the hospital, and I could see the part of Boise where I grew up while I was there. I am thankful for the fall and for the beautiful scenery it provides and for football season that comes with it, because football just makes me happy. I am thankful that I had a skilled doctor to do my surgery, a clean, comfortable place to recuperate, and especially for medical insurance so my family isn't paying for this for the rest of our lives. I am thankful for my brothers and sisters who have really been here for me, come to see me, and called me, and for my mom who has suffered this surgery before me and moved on so well and bravely. What a great example she is! I'm especially grateful to have a husband and children to come home to, and to motivate me to make a speedy recovery so I can start being the caregiver instead of the care receiver again. This victim, sick person thing does not come naturally to me and it sure doesn't feel good. I like being strong, independent, and productive. Will I ever be that way again?
There's the update! Next up are check-ups with Drs. Livingston and Montgomery, then next will be radiation treatments for 6 weeks. I am a little shocked that there's more cancer treatment ahead. Certainly chemo and mastectomy seem like they ought to do the trick! I look forward to seeing Dr. Montgomery again so I can playfully banter with him about the "treatment" I've received. So onward and upward I suppose...