Sunday, December 27, 2009

Merry Christmas To Our Families and Friends. We Couldn't Have Made it Through 2009 Without YOU!

I made it! I somehow managed to do the shopping, the trimming, the concerts, the recitals, the wrestling meets, AND the radiation. I am now through with 19 of 30 treatments, all my physical therapy appointments, and all but a few final doctors appointments. It's almost time to face life after cancer without all the extra help and support and without the excuses. I'm not sure what that life's going to be like yet, but I won't worry about that now. January is for looking ahead--December is for reflection upon the year past.
In our family, 2009 will forever be remembered as the year Margi was diagnosed with breast cancer, or more officially, moderately differentiated ductal carcinoma, grade 2-3, estrogen positive, her 2 negative. The diagnosis came on March 3, just days after Hunter celebrated his 15th birthday with friends at Chuck E. Cheese's (Yup, that's right, 15th, Chuck E. Cheese's). The very next day I met with a surgeon and an oncologist, and on March 13 prepared for a long and grueling cancer treatment regimen by having my gall bladder removed and a port placed (the port makes chemotherapy more convenient because it can be accessed easily without having to access a vein for injections and blood draws). Surgery was followed by six months of chemotherapy, a mastectomy of the left breast, and radiation. So except for January and February, my family and I have been doing this all year. Amazingly enough, with the exception of a few awful weeks in early summer when I suffered through pneumonia, life for the Nettles has been pretty much business as usual.
Greg somehow managed to hang on to The Stereo Shoppe in spite of the horrible economic conditions, but he had to do it with fewer employees and six day work weeks. Early in the year he was balancing family, work, my doctor's appointments, and coaching Hunter's AAU basketball team. Looking back on it I'm not sure how he did it, but it was worth it, because he really enjoys coaching. Like lots of other men in their mid 40's, Greg was hoping to be working less at this point in his life, but I know he's very grateful he's still able to support the family, and of course, the medical insurance was invaluable this year!
Perhaps the only family member busier than Greg is Rachel. She added a boyfriend, speech and debate, and jazz band to an already very full plate. Perhaps my diagnosis has been more of a burden to her than to the other kids. She's done more worrying and more babysitting this year than last. She's still playing cello, still an excellent student, and she's in the process of choosing a college for next year. She's been accepted to Willamette and College of Idaho, waiting to hear from University of Puget Sound and Whitworth, and still planning on applying to University of Utah.
Hunter's year started with basketball, moved to spring football, then on to summer football, followed by the actual football season (he played for both JV and varsity teams), and now he's moved on to WRESTLING! We're all getting used to a culture we've never been exposed to before--the world of sweaty singlets, ringworm infested mats, and stat girls. Oh how I miss basketball! But Hunter is learning quickly, getting super fit, and has already won a tournament, so I guess it's worth it. He's a half a merit badge and an Eagle project away from being an Eagle Scout, and when he gets that taken care of he's looking forward to taking driver's training. He remains a delightful kid to spend time with.
As Rachel and Hunter pursue music and athletics, Parker draws, and makes movies, and listens to music and reworks his wardrobe. He's an incredibly creative kid. This year he's attending an alternative middle school, Pathways. It emphasises smaller class sizes and a no failure policy. There are no zeros given, and the teachers expect the students to finish all work, no matter how long it takes. He loved it at first, and is not quite so sure now, but he's plugging away and trying hard to be a good student. He's also taking care of several family pets, including our bunny, Oreo, and our cat, Lucky. We're all mourning the passing of our beloved gecko, a pet Parker'd taken care of for several years.
Like a lot of younger kids in a family, Kate seems to want to try everything. She's taking piano lessons, dancing, and going to achievement days for church every other week. During the past year she's done cheerleading, gymnastics, basketball, and soccer as well. She loves going to Rachel's concerts, Hunter's games, and Parker's doctor's appointments. She's a great big sister to Tadman and plays with him delightfully. She loves friends, school, church, and pretty much everything. My favorite thing about Kate is her enthusiastic anticipation of upcoming events. I get excited right along with her. She's really looking forward to starting violin lessons next year, and playing in the Joplin orchestra.
And we all adore Tadman, who will be turning three January 26th. Tadman loves trucks, cars, diggers, trailers, RVs, ATVs, and everything with wheels. He can be sweet and cuddly (most of the time) or occasionally loud and bossy. We're not sure which of us he is emulating. He brings happiness and joy to everyone in the family. We all delight in the cute things he says, the way he looks, and everything he does. It's been a trying year for little Taddy. He's gone from nursing and being tended by his mom all the time, to being unexpectedly and abruptly weened and spending lots of time with aunts, grandmas, and friends. It's been hard on him, and harder on me! The best thing about being done with treatment will be reestablishing a routine for Tadman.
2009 will not easily be forgotten. We've learned to accept our limitations and with those limitations, lots of help from others. I've learned that much of my life was extracurricular, and I've been able to eliminate a few things. When you're forced to examine your life and what's of the greatest importance, very few things make the cut. Faith, family, love, service are about it.
We couldn't have made it through the year without the prayers and support of our family and friends. Hot meals came for months. My sisters and sisters-in-law, nieces, mom, and mother-in-law did so much to help, including laundry, cleaning, mending, babysitting, shopping, decorating, listening, visiting, checking on kids, and many other acts of service. Cards and notes and phone calls helped. Talking to friends who'd recently undergone cancer treatment was invaluable. And somehow by going through this experience I feel more blessed and fortunate than ever before. How happy I am to be alive, to feel good, to snuggle with my Taddy, or go to dinner and a movie with Rachel, to dance with Kate, watch Hunter make a monster block, or see one of Parker's amazing drawings.
How we appreciate having you as friends and family! If we haven't kept in touch, know it's not because we don't care. We think of you often and send best wishes to you all. Thank you for being a part of our lives and enriching our experience.

5 comments:

  1. HEre's to a great new year.

    Love you, Margie,
    Melinda

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you can survive and thrive in 2009, 2010 is bound to be a piece of cake, right?! I'm glad to be one of the lucky who know and love you!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a recap! Beautifully written and forever remembered!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Got your Christmas card when we returned home. Sounds like 2009 was a rough year. I've been terrible at keeping in touch, but would love to get together sometime and catch up. I'll give you a call.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congratulations! You are more loving, thoughtful, caring, wise, spiritually strong, humble and grateful because 2009 is now a part of you! Thank you for allowing all of us to grow more fully this year by sharing the things you have learned. Well done! I love you.

    Heidi

    ReplyDelete