Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Flowers, Another Treatment Day, and A Suspension, Ugh!

It's Wednesday, and this whole week is wacky and thrown off because my treatment day was Tuesday this week due to the Memorial Day holiday. By the way, I shopped for pots almost all morning Memorial Day, finally found some at Lowe's, of all places, after I'd been to all my more promising stores which had nothing, and then spent the rest of the day planting flowers while my kids swam and partied. I love days like that. Working in the yard while my kids are either working along side me or playing in the pool is about my favorite kind of family activity. Rachel stayed home and helped me plant while the rest of the family went to a picnic. I was sorry to miss the party, but I was glad to get those flowers in the pots so they didn't die. I finished up the whole job late last night after dinner and getting the little kids to bed. I do have more containers to fill, so if I get another burst of energy I might do more.
Back to treatment day, Justine took me this week while Mindy and her boys took care of Tadman. He likes going there because there are three boys to play with! Justine and I got to start a new puzzle straight out of the box, so we had lots of action turning all the pieces over and separating out the edge pieces and all that. Yes! I always wish there was more time for the puzzles--much more entertaining than magazines or television.
Since it was Tuesday, there were a lot of unfamiliar faces, both nurses, patients, and volunteers, but all were just as nice as my regulars. A nurse I'd never met before did my blood draw, and she had no problem at all--first try again! Justine joined me in the exam room for my doctor's appointment, and let me tell you, she had a very positive effect on Dr. Montgomery. He was positively charming. He offered conversation, encouragement, listened to my heart and had my lie down and examined my stomach. That's positively thorough for him. My nurse Cathy was gone, sadly at a patient's funeral, but the replacement nurse was very kind and complimentary.
Then, back to the waiting room for a little more puzzle time, then all too soon called into the chemo room for the infusion. I was treated by the head nurse of the unit, and she told Justine and I the delightful story about two hummingbird eggs laid in a nest in her yard. She is spraying the squirrels with water bottles to protect the tiny eggs. In a few weeks she'll have baby humming birds in her yard. Can you imagine how small baby humming birds will be?
The infusion went smoothly and quickly and Justine was kind enough to ask a cute girl who comes for treatment where she got her cap (Target). I must get one before my hair grows back. My treatment nurse recommended Zen Bento for lunch, so Justine and I went there and enjoyed some great stir fry with tender barbecued meat and brown rice or noodles. Delicious!
After picking Tadman up an returning to my house, my front door was wide open. Justine came in with me in case any intruders needed to be beat up, but I guess it was just an oversight, because nothing was gone and no one was in the house. Thank you Justine and Mindy for the treatment day help. I must have Justine go again. She brings out the best in my doctor!
Now for the bad news, while I was at treatment, Parker was in trouble at school. Here's the story as I've pieced it together from Parker's account that of Ms. Bernal, the 6th grade assistant principal. After break on Tuesday, Parker got to his locker to get his books for his next class only to find his locker had been broken into and vandalized. Books were torn, papers were scattered over the hall and something had been jammed into the locker to make it difficult to reopen. Parker saw Ms. Bernal in the hallway and asked for assistance getting his locker open and his possessions gathered. She helped him clean up, got things back in his locker and sent him off to class. At this point Parker told Ms. Bernal that he sometimes preset his locker combination so his locker would easily open when he came back between classes. He has a hard time getting a locker open, getting the materials he needs and getting back to class on time. So Parker went to class, and Ms. Bernal discovered from others students nearby who had vandalized the locker. When the student who trespassed and vandalized Parker's locker was brought to her office to be disciplined, he offered up some information to get a little of the heat deflected away from himself. He told Ms. Bernal that when he was going through Parker's locker and vandalizing it he had come across a knife. At that point Ms. Bernal let herself back into Parker's locker, had another look through his possessions and found at the very back of the locker under a bunch of books and papers, a small Swiss army pocket knife. She called Parker immediately to her office. He admitted it was his, although said he had no idea it was in his locker and had forgotten it was there. He hadn't showed it to anyone, talked to anyone about it, or anything like that. It was literally just thrown in the back of the locker. She told Parker that was an offense punishable by expulsion, but under the circumstances she would show leniency and suspend him for three days instead, including the last day of school. Poor Parker was devastated. He really had no idea the knife was in his locker and then he was blindsided by the punishment. Ms. Bernal wouldn't tell me what the punishment was for trespassing, vandalizing, and bullying (this same kid has done this to Parker's locker a half dozen times this year, as well as slamming his locker shut often right after Parker has opened it between classes) but assured me his punishment would be severe. Parker heard that he got one day of in-school suspension. Okay, so I understand the knife thing, because it's a district rule that is set in stone apparently that any knife at school is punishable by suspension or expulsion regardless of the circumstances, but it seems a little crazy to me that this bullying and criminal behavior is a less severe crime when the intent is to do evil in the one circumstance, and the other (Parker's crime) is just a crime of disorganization or negligence with no intent to harm or harass another student. Parker has just been bullied to death this year, called names, had chewed gum stuck in his hair, etc. etc. I can't wait to get him out of that school!
The good news is I get him home with me for a couple of days. The bad news is this is one more bad memory Parker has to punctuate a long, hard sixth grade year. I have done everything I can think of to find him an advocate at the school, talked to teachers, counselors, he's tried to get help from teachers overseeing the hallways, and nothing's worked. We're both exhausted by it. Thank goodness the year is almost over. Now one day closer to being over for Parker.
Today Parker watched Tadman for me while I went to water aerobics. I really love the class. It is an adequate workout, but relaxing and gentle on the body, and it feels more like play than a hardcore workout since it's kind of like playing in the water. Plus water is just inherently relaxing. But then a couple hours later I'm just exhausted. It's strange considering how good I feel right after I finish the class.
My sister and my dutifully came and made beds and dropped off laundry today. Tadman got an extra treat when he got to go to Walmart with them in my sister's yellow truck. He was more than excited.
I crashed in the afternoon, but somehow all the kids got to their evening activities and the little kids survived. I attempt to get Tadman to nap with me but he's impossible to get to sleep during the day anymore, but then crashes at dinnertime. Tonight he fell asleep in the tacos Kathleen Anderson provided us for dinner. But I'm not ready to give up on those afternoon naps quite yet.
In conclusion tonight I need to remember my blessings. I've really been obsessing over Parker's suspension and I'd like to try to let that go and move on to more positive thoughts. I am thankful for the beautiful weather of the past few days. It's all of a sudden summer with the long days, warmer evenings, and beautiful bright night sky. I'm thankful, of course, for the variety and color and scents of flowers and the relaxation and satisfaction I get from planting and nurturing them. I am thankful for the patience and stamina of all my helpers, many of whom have brought 2 or 3 meals now, many of whom come multiple times a week to do things for me. I'm thankful for my kids who challenge, love, and entertain me and add variety and interest to my life and make me forget I have cancer. I'm thankful for Greg who keeps plugging away at work, somehow continues to provide, and picks up a lot of extra chores he's not excited about. I'm thankful for the strength and stamina and endurance my body has in spite of this cancer treatment. It somehow keeps responding and regrouping even though I get poison pumped into it each week. With the exception of the feet which are pretty messed up. Notice I have ten treatments under my belt. Only 2 more Adria treatments and then on to Taxol!

5 comments:

  1. that just makes me MAD! stupid kid, I am pretty sure that was illegal search and seizure, or something like that! I am so sorry it has been a bad year for him, he is such a great kid. glad he will be at a different school next year- he needs some good experiences!
    hey, call me when you are going to crash next time, i can get tadman!

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  2. Bullies are such cowards! It's amazing that our kis survive middle school at all. I wish they could somehow punish according to intent so the real offenders would be held accountable. Arg! Thanks for sharing your thoughts about your blessings. Ashley and Donny left this morning and I've been really sad all day. Your thankfulness made me have more gratitude, made the world seem a little smaller and China not so far away. Thanks for that, my friend!

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  3. Edited version: Make that "kids" survive middle school. :)

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  4. Give Parker a hug from us. That really stinks! They have all this stuff about Rachel's challenge and anti-bullying campaigning, but do they step up and really help the victim of it?!?! Tell Parker I am on his side!

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  5. I just told Jesse about Parker's story and he is extremely upset on his behalf. I'm glad he's going to a different school. He's too good for all that. Hang in there, friend.

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