The Ups, the Downs, and the Upside-downs of Cancer Treatment, By Margi

I haven't blogged since last Wednesday, and you know what that means--you're going to need a little stretch mid-blog or some sort of stimulant to get you through this one. Consider reading a paragraph a day if the whole of the thing is too daunting, or have one of your kids skim it and tell you the highlights. I will say since Wednesday I've been on the roller coaster and not the merry-go-round, so that might help.

It must have been Thursday morning when I noticed the article on the Komen billboard models in the Statesman. I was super excited to read it because I thought I'd have so much in common with these fellow cancer ______________ (insert your favorite descriptive noun here. Possible choices: victims, sufferers, battlers, patients, survivors...) So imagine my disappointment when I had little or nothing in common with any of them, at least as they were portrayed by the Statesman. I was discouraged! I had been very much looking forward to the Komen festivities, mainly because of the opportunity to meet women like me, but these women seemed NOTHING like me. There seemed to be no introspection or spirituality expressed, just a lot of "why me" and "this sucks". Depressing!

Then the same day I talked to Stephanie Parry, a woman I love to talk to, incidentally, but she was telling me about all the nutrition information she'd researched about keeping the body cancer free after treatment, and learning that I should have no more than 15% of my calories come from fat, no sugar (a cancer spreader), and lots and lots kale and swiss chard from here on out was an ominous and dreary picture of my future. Cancer or food, food or cancer? I'll be considering my options during treatment.
Luckily my mom and Heather came on Friday morning to do the laundry routine, and I was able to unload some of my frustrations with my dirty laundry. By the time they left my beds were made, the clean laundry was put away, and I was feeling much better about life. I was double therapized--both the organized house and the listening ears soothed me.
An unexpected visit from my adorable niece Leah and her husband Landon brought me totally out of the funk. They were visiting Boise from Logan for other business, but made the effort to come to my house and see how I was feeling and if they could perform any service for me. Talking with them and being around their youth and enthusiasm and wholesome good looks was positively rejuvenating. And Leah even came back the next day to watch Hunter play basketball and go to lunch with my family. Being around her was delightful! Thank you Leah and Landon for your visit. It meant so much to me!
After Leah and Landon's visit on Friday afternoon I was off to take Parker to a school visit at Christine Donnell Arts Magnet School. Both of us were impressed with the principal, the cleanliness and order of the school, and the variety of electives offered. We will be writing some pro and con lists in the next little while before we make the final decision. The obvious drawback for us going to Christine Donnell is transportation. We'd be driving Parker back and forth every day, but it's nice to have more than one option.
After the downer of Thursday and part of Friday (could there be a pattern forming here?) I was looking forward to the sporting events of Saturday, and I was not disappointed. Hunter's team played bright and early Saturday morning and had an epic battle with Caldwell. The game was tied several times and continued to be tied late into the 4th quarter when with 2.1 seconds left in the game, Hunter, the big hero, drove the lane and was fouled while making a lay-up, then banked the bonus free throw in, helping his team win the game with a three point margin. Quite exciting! Then off to Kate's soccer game which also ended in a tie, and in which Kate made an assist, then back to Lowell Scott for Hunter's second game, which was no longer a contest by the time I returned. Hunter's team beat Capital easily in that game. We ended a busy day by watching Hunter and the rest of the kids from church in the regional dance festival at Taco Bell Arena, and other than a minor altercation between Greg and another spectator who insisted we stole a seat he was saving, we enjoyed that too. My favorite part was seeing the different styles and personalities of my kids' friends coming out in that environment. Michelle Reed, Tom Sant, Hunter (of course), and Taylor Searle were some that stood out to me because of their dynamic personalities.
Okay, you must be growing weary of reading because I grow very weary of writing, so I'll try a little less detail, a little more insight.
The Sabbath was great for me. I loved the messages in all the meetings and came away feeling great, especially about my solid female support group at church. My feelings of love and my acceptance of little differences has grown so much with this cancer diagnosis. You can try me, but I honestly don't think any of you ladies from church could vex me in any way no matter what you did. You've all shown me such love, support, acceptance, and encouragement I can't imagine ever entertaining a bad thought about any of you ever again. And I think you like me more, too. I'm cooler with cancer, aren't I? I'm joking, of course, but I do think you've forgotten a lot of my shortcomings and imperfections because you're so anxious to support me. And I thank you!
So I've finally made it to today, Monday, treatment day. Today Camille Miller picked me up, while Mindy watched Taddy. When we arrived (after maybe 2 puzzle pieces--SAME PUZZLE!) I was quickly called in for my blood work. The port was accessed very efficiently and on the first try by the head nurse today. But when I went to my doctor's visit--a saw the nurse practitioner instead of Dr. Montgomery--and told her of my sore feet, blistered hands and sore bottom, and after she had examined those areas (why did I open my big mouth?), my treatment was suspended for today because I was too symptomatic. In other words, my body's falling apart! The bad news is, no more walking. I have to find some other exercise that's easier on my feet. The good news is, they don't add on another treatment later, they just skip it and move on. That means I'm still on schedule to be done with chemo on August 31st. So after getting the needle removed from my port, Camille and I got to have an early lunch, and it was yummy. Maybe I'll feel super delightful this week, huh?
One final note, we have conquered the horse report. Kate presents tomorrow and then we can put that puppy to bed. Yes! Thanks to Maureen for dinner, to my friends who brought the freezer meal, to Brenda for walking (what I guess will be my last walk for awhile), and to Camille and Mindy for the support today. And again, I can't say it enough, thank you all for your kind words, your prayers, your cards, your visits, your e-mails, your calls, and your comments on my blog. I honestly feel all of you holding me up a lot of the time. That's the only way I can explain why this burden feels so bearable. Hang in there with me for a few more months, okay?